Seen, Observed, Experienced & now Shared!

Friday, January 9, 2015

The Time I Went Demented On Myself

 So the letters weren't working anymore....you know....the letters to god where you greet him first, ask about his well-being then mention your problems & ask him to solve them. of course at the end I'd never forgot to mention that I (whiny,miserable,messy kid) may soon join him if the letter went unanswered. 
Initially there was a lot of confusion regarding the mode of delivery of the letter. I tried the one where I threw it out of the window on a windy night, putting the wind on charge for its safe delivery to god. when one day while playing around the building I stumbled to a sheet of paper lying on the ground with my signature at the end. the irresponsible behavior of the wind made me look for other options.

I succeeded in finding a shortcut, right in my home, the wooden miniature temple where the photo frames of various gods, calenders of years gone by, silver idol of lord Krishna & a plaster of paris idol of lord Shiva were kept. the temple was decorated with various glittery mata ki chunnis under which I slipped my letter.
 fast forward to some days, my mom during one of the temple cleaning days got hold of my secret letter. fortunately due to my mom's lack of confidence in reading English words (she can read some small words but she tries to avoid any encounters with English,afraid she would sound silly .) I was able to convince her that it was one of the pages of my some notebook. 
As mentioned at the start after a while the letters didn't bore any result, that's when I decided I needed to take some extreme steps. to make the almighty realize that those threats weren't bogus. 
I took one birthday candle, lit it & tilted it on my arm. a drop of hot melted wax dripped on my arm. it felt like as if a needle pierced my skin. the sensation lasted only some seconds & then it became normal. as it happens, the spot where the liquid wax dropped was now covered with solid white wax which I scrubbed off. the skin was reddish. I did two more times at various spots on my arm. I liked that sweet painful experience. it became my little stunt.

But like always, my mother noticed the burn mark on my hand & I had to let go of that 'fun burn' activity. as I became more mature (or immature) I grew fond of drugs,alcohol & smoking. no, I never did any of it in reality. I just liked it from the movies. drinking alcohol & dancing the night away. sniffing drugs & not giving any damn about the world. the cool process of smoking- first tapping it two times on the knee, lighting it up then the real thing. how can it not seem so attractive.      

From the sources (my school mates) I got to know that sniffing whitener also has the same effect as drugs. I sniffed it... nothing happened. then I don't know what was going on in my mind I popped half a piece of an expired medicine tablet in my mouth. there was no reaction & I got bored of that too.

In self hate I was doing self harm. I soon put an end to it & put my mind somewhere where it was needed the most, in self love. it took some time but it was worthwhile & risk free. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Nature's surprise

Morning comes & morning goes, even if it's a birthday morning. yes....today's my birthday & I don't feel any different. well at least I try to don't feel any different & just let 17th july be any other date on the calendar. but it's not working. I stayed 1 minute longer in my bed today. guess there's still some hope. 
 Since I can remember I never had a birthday party,born & brought up in a house where birthdays were a no big deal or even a deal. it was embarrassing to go remind someone that it was my birthday only to get no response in return. my phones never got crashed because of birthday SMSs or calls at 12:00 am, never experienced the sweet pain of birthday bumps, never received any gifts or greeting cards, never got the cake smudged up on my face or ever wished upon the birthday candle. these sweet moments are absent in my life. 
After all these 20 years I think I should give up that hope. but something or the other never makes me forget that its not like any other day. contrary to my hopes, the weather news is reporting that the heat wave will continue.a tiring & sweating day at work. nothing special there. 
While returning from the expected day at work the clock tower's bell caught my attention. it said 5:00 pm. instantly my mind calculated the hours left for my birthday to get over & with it the miserable feeling I was having all day. now I can officially sum up this day as a "no special" day. the sun was blazing  & was throwing it's powerful rays as a spotlight. all of a sudden the clouds out of nowhere started to cover up the sky. the air became cooler & the leaves of the trees which were idle all this while started fluttering in the breeze. 
I remember when I was a kid I went up to this hill. I was sad that day. it was one of my birthdays. I laid on the grass & looked upon the clouds. I looked at them really hard & soon I saw a baby,a cat & Santa shaped clouds.
 Now these unexpected clouds lingering on the sky I had to take a look. a huge cloud was passing , it was shaped a cake! A vanilla cake & I could make out some candles too! then the sky turned darker. lightning & thunder joined the scene. soon rain accompanied them. the lightning & rain looked like a confetti shower & thunder sounded like claps. I couldn't believe what I was watching,  nature giving me a surprise birthday party. 
some car was honking at me. I looked back & stepped out of the way. I was going back to enjoy the view when I realized that it was all bright around. I looked at the sky. it was devoid of clouds & sun was shiny itself again. I looked at the clock tower. it was still at 5:00 pm.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Mumbai Meri Jaan ♥


                                    Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus

                                              General Post Office

                                      Municipal Corporation Building

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Best of Best Friends-

"The only reason god didn't make us sisters is because one mom couldn't handle us both."
So true! Me & my BFF shalz (shalini), we get on like a house on fire. That's why the minute I finished reading the topic my brain was flooded with flashbacks of our countless meetings, harmless  pranks &  meaningless gossips. Every moment with her is a memory ,an unforgettable one. So I chose to write about this one time when we were alone but together. Confused,eh? Shalz parents were out of city for one day so they asked my mom to let me give company to her. I was like "PAJAMA PARDDIEEE!"
 My mom dropped me at her house which is not very far from ours. By the way me & shalz were in our sweet 16s. My mom of course before going back gave us lots of instructions like lock the doors properly, turn off the stove incase we cook, study & go to sleep on time etc. After mom went shalz snapped at me- "today we don't sleep!" We were going to have a sleep less sleepover.


 We were excited as it was the first time we were going to spend the night together :P
 2 teenage girls on a sleepover…ever wondered what happens? Never? Well you should now. Apart from the usual gossips what do they discuss ,argue, whisper about? Girls in pajamas with no "HE's" around, what its like? Is it really some secret meeting of girls? I think you had enough of suspense. Let's unravel the mystery & get to the fun.

 Pity on remote which got pressed continuously when we browsed through a million channels. shalz wanted to watch her favorite serial & I wanted the remote to stay untouched while on music channel. But then some channel was airing "Dil To pagal hai" our favorite movie . Remote took a sigh at last. The scene came in which madhuri & karisma have a dance dual. Shalz at once stood up, challenged me & started imitating madhuri's steps. I was just waiting for my turn. Soon I stepped in karisma's shoes & joined her the on the dance floor. We knew the steps having watched the movie so many times. We were giving each other these envy look. After the dance ended we gave each other a tight hug. I said "dil ka to pata nahi par hum defo pagal hai!"


After our "dancing dovees" mood faded, we wanted to take the fun a notch up higher & do something which involved others.

So we prank called our friend manisha, easy target. Shalz who is exceptionally good in bhojpuri, talked with manisha pretending to be the mother of a boy who we used to tease her with. Shalz was on fire. She asked her "what black magic have you done on my  son? You better stop or I'll have to call the police!" poor manisha was so scared she called my home to tell me about the call but my mom told her about my whereabouts & we were busted! But her reaction was worth a million bucks.
 Having run out of plans ,we sat in the balcony, looking all the people around. Just then we heard a child crying, we together moved our gaze. It was a kid who had fallen from the swing in the park. His mother was consoling him. Finally I broke the silence between us. "it's been a while since we've been to a park!" "Actually!" agreed shalz. Bringing force in my voice I said "you know what…we should go!"  After locking the doors properly we started heading to the park. We sat in the swings beside each other.
I knew it was the perfect night, the sky was filled with stars & the cool breeze giving us goose bumps. We were swinging higher & higher as if to reach the stars. I know it sounds childish but that's what it does to you, makes you a kid again. I started talking about the stars, aliens & about becoming an astronaut, my gaze still stuck on stars. After realizing that it was me who was doing all the talking I turned to the other swing. It was vacant. Just then shalz hits me from behind & breaks into a laughter. I look around, The roads were deserted. It was pretty late so I suggested we should go back now. Shalz was like-"wait ghosts come at this time to take a swing!" we turn to the swing which strangely is still swinging, we look wide eyed at each other & the next thing we know we are running full speed, we didn't stop until we reached the door of her home.
After getting back to normal we remembered that we didn't took any photos to show it to our friends & make them jell-o. Shalz got her camera. We were ready but not picture ready. so Shalz brought her heart shaped make up box. Soon the atmosphere was filled with lipstick & perfume fragrance. After applying nail paints on each other's right hand, photo session began. We were pouting, we were shouting. We were giving all these crazy poses like james bond, rockstars as if below our feet was red carpet & hiding our face as if we were some celebrity who is not interested in getting photographed.
Photos were taken. After discussing which ones to keep & which ones to delete ,We retired to our beds NO not to sleep but to do some... as sidhu pajji would say "luvee doveee" talks.
                                                                                                 src: Comedy nights with Kapil
Discussion began about our kind of soul mate with me putting intellect above looks & shalz personality above all. You really think a girl does family planning first time with her husband? NO. then started the round of how many kids & their names. For no. of babies we resort to hand reading. Everyone should try this. Take your left hand make it into a fist. Now at the little finger side there will be 2 dark lines forming. In between will be light lines. How many are there? Congrats you that many kids. What nonsense! I know. But it's a fun game & turns funnier when someone has a half line. I have one & shalz two. I don't remember when we broke our rule & fell asleep. It's been almost 3 years since that night, the night we became best friends forever from best friends!
This post is dedicated to our friendship & I would like to gift shalz the privilege to be its first reader. I know what her reaction would be "….where are the vouchers?":P

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